Transitions in Technology, Stage 1: Letting Go

Strombergast was the first computer that was "mine". I ordered him from Dell in 2004, because they can do payments and I sure as hell didn't have $1,400 on me at the time. Plus they do custom orders, and I wanted to get something beyond a standard build. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I didn't know as much about computer technology then as I do now. Because if I did, I would have known not to order from Dell. Nonetheless...

Strom was a solid workhorse of a machine. He was a tank. His case was heavy, for a mid-size tower. At this point I don't remember much of the specs. 80Gb hard drive, an ATI Radeon X300-series graphics card, a gig of RAM. Not the hottest machine by any means, but for my basic needs it worked well. Did some casual gaming, did some design, spent a lot of time blogging. Spent a lot of time naked with it, too, because that was my work back then. What am I saying? I spent a lot of time naked with it period, because I am just naked a lot.

As time passed, the wear I--and others--had put on the machine was beginning to show. I had a room mate spill some Fruit Punch soda on the keyboard, and though he tried to clean it up best he could, I still noticed the sticky liquid sloshing out. A few months later, a different roommate spilled a glass of fruit juice on the desk and, knowing I would not react well, did not tell me. But I figured it out when the keyboard and monitor were both glued to the desk by the dried sugary residue, and all the plugs were stuck in my surge protector for the same reason.

The computer moved out of the public space and into my bedroom after that, but they still used it without my permission when I was away. Who knows what icky viruses they downloaded on it. *shudder*

Then in more recent years, I moved in with Makal and he introduced me to World of Warcraft. WoW was a little laggy on it (okay, a LOT laggy, so we doubled the RAM from the original 512Mb to 1Gb) but it worked. I dealt with it. At one point I discovered that one of our cats had been spraying the back of the case... This is something I shall not describe in detail. You do not want to know the details. Suffice it to say, Strom was not having the best time.

Then the death of the monitor; after enlisting an electronics friend to help me fix it, he pointed out signs that the monitor was a refurbished model and had already been repaired for this very issue. Funny, I thought, since I had ordered a new model. I then began to wonder how many other "new" parts had Dell sold me (at full price) that were in fact refurbished. Jerks. So, unable to really do anything productive with the box, we moved it and a set of speakers into the bedroom to serve as a music station. This worked really well with the Remote app on iPhones, because then there wasn't much need for a monitor at all. A few months later the power supply blew. And I mean, wow, there was ash inside the case. Really crazy. It was, essentially, the end of Strom.

So, here we are. Strombergast has been a champ, and was my best friend through many an emotial trial. I first talked to Makal on this computer (okay, "chatted with"). I edited the first naked photos of myself to be posted on the Internet, on this computer. I learned about things like Tor and file sharing and MMORPGs. And we had a good time, Strom and I.

But now it's time to move on.

Goodbye, dear Strombergast, Ultimate Killing Machine. You were my first computer love and you shall live on in my heart (also, I'm pulling your HD and anything else useful to stick in other boxes).

And in a few days, I'll introduce you to Cecilia. Once I've built her, of course.

100 Things that Are/Were True

I'm doing some work today organizing files on my desktop. Poor Makal... he got this computer last year after tax returns, custom built all for himself, and then what happens? I fill it up with all my files, backing up my own comp so that I can do a clean wipe of it. Time passed, my computer died, and I continued to keep my own desktop profile on Makal's box. It's now a year later and I think my files are taking up more than my fair share of a computer that was never intended for my use...

So today I've been diving into some of those backup folders, dumping everything into new folders and assessing what's there. As per the usual with long-time computer users, I've not opened some of these folders since, oh, maybe two computers ago? Yeah.

Just now, I found a gem. Backups from my first blog. Pre-Blogger. Entirely hand coded, every post, every archive link, every inserted image. So cute, so fun. I miss doing business that way, but it's just not quite so practical anymore. ANYway, on to my point. One of the files I found was "100about.htm". This wasn't even a blog post... it was it's own seperate page of my site, it was so important. So I thought it'd be fun to take a break from the file organization and post this list, making comments along the way (I've not read it all yet so who knows how accurate it will be). Aaaand, here we go!

100 Things About Me (circa 2002ish)

1... i was born on leap day in the year 1984...

2... that makes me a pisces.

3... i can read your birthchart.

4... i love my special boy. (Ed. Eh, not so much anymore. At all. Ended that over three years ago. Very happy with my current special man though! ;)

5... i played the flute...

6... and i was in marching band.

7... i really like porn. (Ed. Still so very, very true...)

8... i interned at hot topic...

9... yet i worked at the gap.

10... then quit gap and worked seasonal at hot topic

11... i walk into walls (quite often). (Ed. Not so often anymore; I wonder why?)

12... i'm addicted to my computer.

13... i have lived in eugene, oregon, my entire life. (Ed. Except for the past 2.5 years I've lived in Portland, which is a way cooler city)

14... i love cats.

15... i believe.

16... i love shiny things.

17... i have a fetish for shiny red lipstick...

18... and vinyl. (Ed. When, a year or two later, my mom found this blog, she teased me mercilessly for this one.)

19... i am a bead enthusiast. (Ed. Meh.)

20... i watch reality tv.

21... i make jewelry out of beads. (Ed. And, like, a crapload of other stuff that is also way cooler.)

22... and i sew purses out of fabric remnants from walmart. (Ed. WOW I haven't made a purse in ages!)

23... i know the words to all the songs in "the nightmare before christmas".

24... i want to decorate my bedroom solely with a large tent (to sleep in).

25... i am a geek. or a nerd. or a spaz.

26... i rarely wear underwear. (Ed. Mom also took to asking me if I was wearing underwear... awkward.)

27... that rhymed. or rimed.

28... i am unsure of my long-term career goals.

29... i am a graphic design major at lane community. (Ed. Well, I was, until I dropped out due partly to lack of learning anything yet still being required to pay for attending.)

30... i am an excellent baker.

31... i have weak nails.

32... i am lactose intolerant.

33... i have many freckles.

34... i bruise easily.

35... i have a tattoo. (Ed. Two!)

36... i'm not good at math.

37... i like to use puff paint.

38... i was in fbla and deca during highschool.

39... i got 1100 on my s.a.t.'s

40... i used to occasionally pass out for no good reason. (Ed. Oh, apparently I still do this too. Grand.)

41... i'm a matrix afficianado.

42... i like to read the news online. (Ed. I stopped reading the news a few years ago.)

43... i don't like white walls.

44... i am happy with painted ceilings.

45... i was in daycare until i started 6th grade.

46... most people eventually annoy me.

47... i listen to insane clown posse. (Ed. HAHAHA yeah no.)

48... i've never been on a large roller coaster. (Ed. Been there, done that, have the ridiculously large soda jug.)

49... i've been bitten by several hobo spiders.

50... unless you've done this you have no idea how time-consuming it is.

51... if you've read this far, i appreciate your commitment.

52... i want to be a housewife when i grow up. (Ed. something I have more or less achieved in my current life)

53... i put dishes in the dishwasher without pre-washing them.

54... sometimes i forget to brush my hair.

55... the first rated-r movie i saw in theaters was "the blair witch project".

56... i like playing video games.

57... i generally don't finish them.

58... i wish my boobs were bigger. (Ed. Do I still think this? Eh. My boobs are pretty rad, I'd say. I wouldn't *mind* if they were bigger, but they are rather practical and aesthetic the way they are now.)

59... i want to build my own computer. (Ed. And I will FINALLY do this when Makal buys me all the components for my upcoming birthday! ^_^)

60... i can beat special boy at air hockey. (Ed. And I can probably beat you, too.)

61... the first time i played poker i won 5 times in a row.

62... i went to england, france, germany, austria, switzerland, leichenstein, and italy the summer of 2001...

63... in 16 days.

64... i've never had chicken pox.

65... i randomly shout "beans!", "banana!", or "chicken!" (Ed. I'd say this isn't true, but I did confuse the hell out of Makal when I briskly walked into the kitchen last night and said "I want a banana!")

66... i can't wait for the next "harry potter" book/movie to be released. (Ed. Honestly? I haven't read Book 7.)

67... i microwave peanut butter & jelly sandwhiches for 10 seconds. (Ed. Now a more mature person, I have learned that they are far better when toasted.)

68... i think bill gates shouldn't feel obligated to donate to charity.

69... i would adopt a child.

70... i like having the biggest amount of (computer) memory possible. (Ed. And then I like filling it with crap that I won't look at for the next three years...)

71... black looks good with anything.

72... i am a perfectionist.

73... i can be grouchy...

74... especially after i get my depo provera shot. (Ed. Yeah, that's fair. But I've not been on Depo since, oh, 2004?)

75... i wear pink and blue plastic-framed glasses. (Ed. My current frames are black metal)

76... i wish i were a size 6 again. (Ed. Aren't I?)

77... i've had poetry published.

78... i can't drive a car.

79... i took highschool spanish for two years.

80... my first pets were parakeets (pepper and whitey).

81... i knew a woman who was born in 1901...

82... who had a grip as strong as an ox until she died in february 2003.

83... i'm an old-skool trekker.

84... i get annoyed when i email someone and they don't write back. (Ed. I cannot stress how true this remains...)

85... i've only been in 4 relationships (counting current one). (Ed. Let's not talk numbers right now, baby.)

86... i wish i could play bass.

87... i want a laptop that's better than yours.

88... i never beat "myst".

89... i love the chicken dance.

90... i have ancestors from transylvania.

91... i can't manage time well.

92... i have bad joints.

93... i've never been fond of pigs...

94... except to eat. (Ed. BACON!!!)

95... i think it would be cool to try being a vegetarian/veagan. (Ed. NO! BACON!!!)

96... i pee with the bathroom door open if no one is home.

97... i don't care about nerve gas invading my lungs.

98... i want to go hiking.

99... "be happy for life, for it gives you the chance to work and love and to look up at the stars" (paul van dyke) is my fave quote.

100... i don't like typing up to 100. (Ed. I imagine this is still true, but I haven't tried.)

On Being a Receptionist

or
Real Conversations are the Best Pretend Blog Posts

Me: ever had to submit a "less that 500 word self interview" instead of a resume?
Me: i am completely puzzled by the concept
tb: no, that's a new one, but i like it.
tb: that's hard.
tb: what are you applying for?
Me: it's a pt receptionist for a biz plan writing firm
Me: so i can understand the more open format
tb: you would make a hot receptionist
tb: if any of my ventures are ever big enough to hire a receptionist, you're so in
Me: lol, awesome

[Some time later...]

Me: you know, i don't think i'd ever actually looked at receptionist positions before today
Me: i'm kinda starting to wonder how that is
tb: i think it would be kind of fun. well, for a while.
Me: heh, yes
Me: as any job is
Me: i was a secretary for a while and the worst part was moreso the other secretaries
Me: rather than the work itself
Me: i've always wanted to be a PA but you usually need personal transport for that
tb: (nod)
tb: you could buy a motorcycle and be a motorcycle PA. that would be HAWT
Me: oh man, but then i'd have to learn how to ride a bicycle first
Me: and resumes alone are hard enough
Me: still, yes, HAWT
Me: and i could fulfill my fantasy of being the ultimate personal assistant/model/assassin/professional sexpert
Me: and all would be well with the world
tb: you should write a graphic novel about the ultimate PA/model/assassin/professional sexpert and make a milion $$$
Me: that would be awesome
Me: i would have the hugest lines for book signings at comic book shops
Me: i am adding this to the marketing section of my plot to take over the world
tb: sweet
tb: don't forget me when you do
Me: of course not!
Me: you can live in my evil lair and be my personal fencing instructor
Me: as an assassin, i will need one of those
Me: i will probably also need a receptionist.
Me: hmm...

My friends are very tolerant people. :)

Introducing: The Milwaukee Lunchbox, Talkie, and Terror

Chatting with a friend right now, and he asks if I've ever had a drink called The Lunchbox (official name The Milwaukee Lunchbox). I haven't; he said it's "liquid sex". Anyone who knows me knows that I love actual lunchboxes, and have a small collection, so I was curious if this drink might be added to my lunchbox-y fun. He gives me the gist of it...

The Lunchbox is a drop shot (like an Irish Car Bomb). The pint gets orange juice, cranberry juice, and any generic beer (PBR, etc.). The drop is a shot of 151 with an amareto float. "3 of those and I'm cruisin," he says, "It tastes like generic Tampico brand punch."

He also told me of some variations...

The Milwaukee Talkie: instead of orange juice and beer, this drink uses Sparx, which has a 5.5% alcohol content.

For the "fucking terror" version of the Milwaukee Talkie, which I am officially dubbing The Milwaukee Terror, use Four Loko (same as a Sparx, but with 11% alcohol(!!!)) and Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. "All alcoholic, and damned delicious."

My friends... stoners and alcoholics, the lot of them. I think I should count myself lucky that I no longer live in the same town as this guy, as I'm pretty sure hanging out with him would result in frequent alcohol poisoning and the general failure of my liver. I think I'll avoid the "terror" version at least until my liver is replaced with a bionic one. 2020 is going to be one hell of a New Year's party!

Sweet, Sweet Nekkids

Just a heads up to those of you who like your women pale, disheveled and bound...

Sent an email to Monk today linking him to my photographer's galleries of our scenes, shot this past summer right inside the TwistedMonk HQ. And wouldn't you know it, within an hour's time he had some teasers up on his blog! He's moving pretty fast for a frozen Seattlite, wouldn't you say? ;)

So, if you want to see some NSFW pics of me getting tied by one of the best rope tops out there, go to Monk's blog now! And comment about the pictures' lurvliness, so's he knows how much you want he and I to work together again...

I'd be posting this on my NM.com Updates blog... but apparently right now some things with Google's servers are all mucked up and everything I try to post to my own domain goes nowhere. :P Thank you, "java.net.ConnectException: Connection timed out" error! You ruined my first day back from vacation. I will never work with servers professionally, that's for damn fucking sure. They are the Spawn of Satan I tells ya! And an instant headache when things don't work right.

But don't think about that right now. Just go look at the bondage nekkids and ponder how totally hawt, awesome, and rawking the rest of the pics will get! ;)

The Current State of Affairs, Holiday Edition

We've had snow here since December 14th, and more actually fell today (wee, snow on christmas day!). To have snow on the ground for two weeks straight... that is crazy. I don't think that's ever happened to me in the Willamette Valley.

But, I continue to love it. I think it's freaking awesome. I am determined to view it positively, rather than focus on all the bad consequences. Our local grocery store is running out of certain types of food because delivery trucks can't get here. Our area has been without bus service for a week, which is an issue when the nearest MAX line is 3 miles away. We canceled our train tickets to visit the hometown when we heard that Amtrak had been canceling routes as well... nevermind how we'd get to the train station. Oh, and the presents Makal and I ordered for eachother, using "last day for 3-day shipping", have been sitting in UPS warehouses for about a week.

On a lighter note, Makal and I have continued to marathon Doctor Who, Stargate SG-1, and an anime called Gankatsuou (very good, very visually trippy). We managed to stock up a good amount of food supplies and, since we haven't once lost electricity (knock on wood), we've been able to continue cooking said supplies into delicious wintry meals (and keep the heaters running). There is the most wicked lasagna in the oven right now, swollen with olives, mushrooms, spinach, cheeses, and MEAT, and we had amazing crepes for breakfast.

December 2008 has definitely been a month of hibernation for me, and for much of Portland I'm sure. I was hearing people complaining about being "done with" the snow on the very day it started falling. But given that I am already prone to secluding myself away in the wintry throws of hedonism, I really don't care. I have been happy as a clam inside my little snowed-in den, watching big white flakes fall and purify the ground with a clean white coat.

Also, we've been working our way through a good supply of alcohols, whilst sequestered: port, gin, rose sake, red wine, rum, scotch. Worry not; some of these bottles do remain unopened, for now... I'm really digging gin & tonics right now. Green limes, so festive.

Have a mentioned that the winter holidays are my favourite time for rampant hedonism?

There's a RISK: Lord of the Rings board ready for pieces behind me, and I think that lasagna is ready to come out of the oven. And my drink is almost gone. Merry christmas, y'all; see you on the other side of New Year's.

New PF Feed Flavour!

My catchphrase for this morning is "Meep meep!" It's nearly 2p, so I know I've gone somewhere with the day, but damn if it doesn't feel like it could just as easily be 8a. I've got all the lights on, but the window blinds aren't open because people are walking back and forth doing some sort of construction work outside. And I spent an hour today tricking out my Firefox so that now it has a very dark theme that makes me feel oddly productive, perhaps because it reminds me of Lightroom. Mmm, fall.

Anyway, to the point! No, to the tea kettle, then to the point...

The point is: I've started publishing a new feed for Perfectly Flawed, and I thought one or two of you might be interested...

THE NEW Perfectly Flawed BASIC feed!

This new feed differs from the current, main feed in only one way: pictures. See, when I started using--I mean, really using--Flickr a while back, I saw that Feedburner gave you the option to attach an RSS of your photostream to a normal blog feed. Which I thought hey, cool! That is relevant to my interests.

As time has passed, I have ended up spending far more time on Flickr than I do in Blogger; my Flickr stream is practically a blog unto itself, and I'll admit, it is updated FAR more frequently than any of my others blogs are. Between recently obtaining an iPhone, and getting off my ass and uploading modeling shots from over the past year, my use of the site has jumped up and I can end up posting 20 or more (potentially crap) shots on a given day. Which can be cool, if you really like pictures of Portland's sky line at dusk (I do), or if you like my un-"Moderate" modeling work that gets posted.

But see, that's the thing: part of the reason I wanted to attach my pictures to this feed was to correlate with naughtymerrick.com, yet I have totally branched that off into its own blog and feed. And as it is, only images that I've set as "safe" get published in my feed, so the self-moderated nekkid shots don't make it to your feed reader... just all the "boring" work-safe pictures I and others take. I still feel like my activity on Flickr is an important part of my online presence, moreso now than ever, yet I don't like feeling like I've assaulted all my lovely subscribers with those pictures innundating the feeds as I group edit them as "safe for work".

Last month, I finally launched a new domain: MerrickMonroe.com. The purpose of the domain is to end up as more of a catch-all for my online presence, with the sexy stuff holding its own at NaughtyMerrick.com. And--if you go and visit the new, mostly SFW site right now, which you really really should--you'll begin to understand why I had a need for a feed of PF that didn't import Flickr activity. Just the words, plain as day thankyouverymuch. And since I am a generous fellow, and feel the pain of blogs with wild feeds, I'm making sure you know about this basic feed, too.

So now you knowThat is, if you don't like seeing my fancy iPhone pictures and random bits of modeling. If you do then I totally invite you to stay on the current feed, cuz this puppy's not changing one bit.