Pretending Things Didn't Happen is Still Just Playing Pretend

No names, no lines connecting names to other names, no self-censorship. Let me tell you about something that happened to me.

When I first started modeling last year, a fairly new photographer contacted me and asked to be involved with a concept I had mentioned on a public profile. We met, discussed the shoot, and agreed that this would be a fun way for us to work together. We did that initial shoot, and shot together again on two separate occasions over the following months. Our work together was on a TFP (or, Trade for Prints) basis, so no money was involved. He took the photos and sent them to me; sometimes they were edited, sometimes he gave me a disc with the original images on it. We both published the photos in our separate networks and portfolios. I thanked him for his work and published some of it on my Creative Commons-licensed membership site (which he had said would be fine to do).

But over time, there was an issue that I did not try to discuss with him, and it seemed to be getting worse. Namely, I did not like the way he edited photos of me. I did not like the high contrast, the (over) saturated colours, or the quite obvious Photoshopping of my face. This was a problem I had from the beginning, with the photos from our first shoot together. I knew that he was very prideful of his photoediting, and very unwilling to allow others to step in to edit or give advice on how to edit the photographs he had taken. So I took matters into my own hands: I re-edited the provided, already edited photos that I had published on my website, and republished them.

This seemed completely reasonable to me, considering: a) my site is under Creative Commons, meaning that ANYone can edit the photos as long as they give proper credit, b) he had agreed that I may post the photos on my website, c) my website was the only place the re-edited images appeared, and d) that first shoot had been my own concept and design, and he had volunteered to do the photography-end of it.

Most of the re-edited images posted were behind a password, but I of course posted a few as "teasers". It wasn't until a few months later, when I published an image from another shoot on my Flickr stream, that he seemed to take notice of what I had done (presumably because he had subscribed via RSS to my blog, which includes images from my Flickr). The image was one that he had neither provided me an edited version of nor posted anywhere in his own networks; I had edited an original image file from a disc he gave me directly post-shoot, on which he had written "OK to Print" and his initials. I edited the image and posted it to Flickr, giving him photography credit. Within a few days I had a scathing email sent to both my email and MySpace. There was no professionalism, no request to remove the image, just him (essentially) yelling at me that what I had done was wrong. There wasn't much need for a response, in my mind. It was only one image.

That was in October. By January, I was waist-deep in an email conversation wherein he called me names, called my boyfriend and business partner names, and threatened us with legal action. It was one of the single most disgusting, self-righteous things I have ever witnessed, leaving me teatering on the brink of depression despite the fact that I found his actions so fucking amusing. Because from a professional standpoint, I fear no consequences from a man who calls me lazy yet cannot see his own name credited on a Credits page that I sent him a direct link to.

When it was all said and done with, there was nothing this photographer could do to recover... well, recover whatever it was he felt had been lost. I was a business woman before I was a model; at this point in my life I have nearly 10 years of training and experience with owning and operating a stable business. I cover my ass, and I NEVER back down from what I believe is right. I never consented to his demands to remove any of the images, and continue to use them in my portfolios and my Members Only gallery to this day*, as well as keep his information up-to-date on my Credits page.

The photographer, however, has taken an alternative route. He removed every picture of me from every image portfolio he maintains, removed me as a contact from every network, and no longer credits me as a model he has worked with. He has effectively tried to erase me from his existence. I have no doubt that he has discussed my "unprofessional" actions with many a model and photographer too, though technically saying so is hearsay on my part (but seriously, this is the modeling industry; everyone gossips to some degree).

I will not deny that I made some mistakes in how I handled the situation. To err is human, and I have definitely learned from what transpired. I've continued to conduct my business affairs the same as I had before, with some minor revisions that had been planned before we had this disagreement.

Nobody likes confrontation or conflict, but it's neither professional nor responsible to hide from it, or to pretend it never happened. We're only fooling ourselves when we do that.

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If you're interested (and if you've read this far, I kinda think you are), I compiled the entire email exchange regarding the dispute on a single basic HTML page, which you can find here: copyright-dispute.html. When I said before that I found the interaction "fucking amusing", it is because of the way the photographer responds to my emails seemingly without having actually read them and considered the content therein. His responses strike me as redundant and abusive; I'm not sure anyone could read this and not feel the same.

It doesn't make me happy that a person who approached me for work ended up thinking and saying such things. Despite that, I continue to display our work together, to make sure my website's links to his work are current and applicable. This, too, doesn't make me happy. I would love to just pretend this didn't happen and be done with it. But I put a lot of work into those images, and am proud of them; they continue to be some of my most unique work to-date, despite the fact that every time I look at one of the images, that pride is tainted by how our professional relationship ended. So why do I continue to display his photography link his portfolios? Because I am a professional, and I think it's the right thing to do.

*While I still host the photoset in question on my website, I have since lost the specific edits under discussion when my host's server crashed. Bad me, not having back ups, I know. While rebuilding my site and image galleries, I did again re-edit the image files originally provided to me. However, this go, the edits are much more similar to the photographer's provided edit, though I have no idea if he has seen the newer versions or approves of them.