One Day, but not the Next?

"i dont know about that girl merrick

one day, i totally think i would hit it

the next....not so much."

Let's address the above statement. Before proceeding, you should know that:
1) this comment was completely unsolicited
2) it was written to a person who is one of my closest friends
3) it was written by a person with whom I've never had even a pixel of contact

Sure, I recognize that I may not fit everyone's ideal. But yaknow, I'm not going to fuck Everyone so I sure as hell don't care if Everyone thinks I'm hotter'n sliced bread. Truth is, I would fuck a great deal of people within my circle, because that's the type of girl I am. But this guy? His blip is so far off my monkeysphere radar that I would never have even casually thought about having sex with him. Unfortunately, due to his random message of honesty, I had the displeasure of doing so. Thanks a lot, douchebag.

Btw, this douchebag also goes by the name Mario. I don't feel bad about telling you his other name, because there are tons of douchebags out there named Mario, so good luck hunting this one down. Seriously ladies, this guy's all class, and if you have the pleasure of coming across his MySpace profile, you'll be instantly gifted with him pulling off his best Gunther-face (in his bathroom... hawt!). I don't really have anything personal against this Mario, having never met him. But I get enough douchebag-vibes off him and his wit to dislike him nonetheless. And considering the Gunther-face, he obviously self-identifies as a douchebag, which makes my job easier.

Like I said, I don't expect everyone to think I'm worthy of a notch on their bed post, because to be fair I wouldn't feel the same way about them. Despite what my previous statement might imply, I am pretty selective about the people I find sexually attractive, and even moreso in regards to who I would actually fornicate with. And I recognize that in being a model (clothed or nude or anywhere in between) I am open to a bit more criticism than your average person. Whatever, I can take it, because I'm pretty freaking happy about who I am and how I look. Apparently, so are the lot of you, judging by the amount of people (professional photographers included) I had encouraging me to avoid SG and just start up my own site. /shrug I'm not ego-tripping about it, I'm just saying. For every person who finds my physical appearance sub-par, I can find at least a dozen other willing victims, online or off. Because I am real, and in that, I am awesome. This is fact.

Honestly though, I'm not writing this because he has personally offended me. I mean, I'm a little put off by his statements, but then my subconscious kicks in and starts laughing and my stance becomes one of "why the fuck should I care?". It's hilarious to me that he thought either my friend or I would care, or would want to continue the discussion.

No, what really gets me is that any guy would think it appropriate to say such a thing about a person's friend, unsolicited no less. Just what is the point of that? Sure, if my friend or I had asked him "would you tap Merrick's ass?" I might be more respectful of his opinion.

So at first I thought, perhaps it was a way to get in contact with me; he was hoping that our mutual friend would relay the message to me, and that I--being an attractive female and a model, and thus lacking any self-respect--would be optimistically and/or desperately intrigued and write to him, hoping to catch him on that "one day" so that we can, like, totally hook up. But Mario darling? I realized something about you. So here's my response:

I would never fuck a guy like you. Not any day. Because I am way too good for you, and you know it. That is why you're trying to present as all wishy-washy on this. Not because you think you'd actually have a chance with me, but because you know you wouldn't... don't... and never will. You know this and it hurts you, that I reject you before I've even registered your existence in the same world I live in. So you thought you'd try to hurt me, by talking about me behind my back, and it would make you feel better about yourself.

Sadly for you, nobody cares about what you think. I'm not trying to hurt you by writing this, but you know, tit for tat--well, none of mine at least. Next time you have something to say about me, feel free to message me direct. That is, if you're man enough. xox

By the by, this is not me being "mean". This is me being honest. Dude's just in need of a little verbal pwnage, which I am happy to supply. Guys should not think they are holier-than-thou just because they ignore the rule of "if you can't say something nice" in favour of some unsolicited--albeit honest--opinions. Nobody wants to hear that shit; go tell it to your blog.

---

i don't know about that boy mario

one day, i totally think he looks like a douchebag

the next... he totally is.