Have Geek(Girl) Will Travel

Ah, the art of the LAN party. The time-honored tradition of teamwork, caffeinated drinks, and network access that--when combined--can make a grown man cry. It's also the term I use for a room of people playing an MMOG, which isn't quite the same thing. But I'm sure you understand what I mean; sitting down with your laptop on the couch, passing around a surge protector and logging in to WoW, that sort of thing. Except, I don't have a laptop. I have a standard-sized desktop named Strombergast: the Ultimate Killing Machine. But I'll probably never go to a LAN (or other type of BYOC) party. Every time I take Strom out for a nice little walk around a different WiFi network, well, I guess maybe people get afraid, and Strom doesn't get to play any games. Strom sad. :(

It's true; every time the idea is suggested that "we" (as in, people from "our group") should get together for a good ol' session of World of Warcraft and run an instance or raid a town, things fall flat... but not until I have spent the half hour taking down my computer and preparing it for transport. Then there's the half hour of setup: figuring out how to integrate my computer into another person's surroundings, setting up the WiFi, etc. It's usually around here that Strom starts to eye the ground in disappointment, for something inevitably happens to equate to no gaming that night. At least the breakdown to go home is faster...

I'm not a serious gamer by any means, and if I was I would probably try to go to a more organized LAN event. But as Wikipedia will tell you, LAN parties are often spontaneous gatherings, geeks with a sudden lust for killing things and wanting their friends to join in the fun. The problem is when one or two people of the handful attending the spontaneous LAN party decide, yaknow, it's a hassle to transport their computer, or they arrive and announce eh, they're just not feeling like it. That kind of kills the group gaming mood. Great guys, thanks. So glad to be a girl amongst your ranks.

Of course, the mere concept of a girl at a LAN or other computer-based party is still considered absurd by most of the folks that throw them. Go ahead and try searching for "girl at LAN party" on Google, and take a few minutes to browse through the results. You won't get much variation in what's said--female gamers lamenting male gamers' seeming obsession with T&A, male gamers wondering wtf a girl will do at a LAN party if no one's getting laid (the answer is apparently "email and MSN")--but you will probably not find anyone talking about a positive "girl at LAN party" experience in a non-sexualized way.

My attending a real LAN party sounds somewhat dismal now. Maybe what I need to do is buy a laptop and pay $10 for a day of WiFi at Starbucks. I can just settle down in one of their slightly oversized (but still trendy) chairs, order up all the Pumpkin Spice soy lattes I want, and game away in a room full of people. Being at a Starbucks does have the added benefit of possibly scaring yuppies and trendsters with my all-consuming gaming geekiness. Of course, the next week I'd probably find out some guy took my pic on his iPhone and posted it to a forum... something with giant red arrows drawn in Paint pointing to my screen (but the pic would--logically--be angled so that you can also see down my shirt), and accompanying text saying "OMG I didnt no girls could use teh Intarnets for nething not email or MSN!!! Sauce on this?"

I just want you douchey geek guys out there to know: you make being a hot geek girl really, really difficult.

Good thing I'm stubborn.