Spam, How You Tug at my Heartstrings

I'll be busy most of the weekend, and since I'm trying really hard to post more regularly, well, I thought I'd let you know that I probably won't be 'til Monday. But then, how often have I posted on the weekends? Anyway, to keep it regular--just call me Bran, baby--I thought I'd post another drafted blog entry that never made it to publish. Damn me and my perfectionist attention span. Wait, doesn't that even make sense? No matter. For this draft, no sense need be made. For it is spam, spam culled from the countless non-sequiturs of life and the Internet. I know I've posted some of this incoherent spamming before, but I'm too lazy to go back and find it right now (if you do so for for the sake of curiosity, do post a link in the comments, won't you?). I had saved this particular mailing because of how purely erotic I found--and still find--it to be. Yes, I think this spam is sexy. Read it, and you may understand...

a fulfilling intellectual life for all. and metal teeth. Teeth for tearing out throats? the air. Fingers quivered on triggers-it was all over. hanging at her waist. Uncapped it and bent to brush aside the thick My pleasure. Easy enough if you work at it. Ill take this one-get another for yourself. Now tell me your plan. with our usual gusto, listened once again to those lovely lyrics . . . boom boomed out the Transport of Delight shuddered. Then began to roll stalk. A loudspeaker between its arms rustled and squawked one more thing you must do to please me. Your stay here will be a long

Just look at those snippets, peeking out at us from such a vast yet unseen world of sensual musings and lurid tales. And what a story they do tell, when combined in this way! Wholly unexpected, I do say. (Rhyming not intended.) I... I hear stories of sadomasochistic love, of lost virginity and hedonistic pursuits. Of orgies and orgasms that roll through room like thunder in the heavens. This is what would happen if Lewis Carrol ever tried to write on such topics familiar to the Marquis de Sade, only he chose to format his in a fashion not unlike "Jabberwocky". Oh faceless spammer, how you do taunt me so, with your promise of long... wait, what were you selling again?