Self-Chastisement of the Heart

It has been two weeks. But these two weeks without him, without (I'll admit) having sex with him--has it only been two weeks? Seems like longer. When can I go back? The return will be in over two weeks by a fair bit. The cliche of "I told myself I would never get involved long-distance" runs through my mind. Everyone tells themselves that; they do it anyway. It is an incredibly hard thing to do. If only there wasn't the time difference... there could be more chat, more webcam, more phone. "Alas," I think, as I woefully place my upturned hand against my forehead. This is unfair. But I can console myself in that I never planned, nor really wanted, it to happen. It just... did. For some reason, he stuck out. He pulled me in. Is it the drama of my mind that traps me there against him? Or is it him, strong arms wrapped around my tiny frame, bringing in to physical reality the protectiveness he feels. I think I need more time to research.