Mirror, Mirror, Not to be Seen

I moved in to this apartment May of last year. For some reason, I never brought over the full-length mirror I had. It just wasn't a priority among the many boxes of craft goods and whatnot. So I've been living without a full-length mirror for a good portion of the past year. And it is because of this that I haven't been able to take notice of how my body is slowly melting away.

Mind you, I wasn't obese by any standards. Rounded perhaps. Very womanly at least--a state I prefer to the ever common heroin-chic stickdom. And one by one, I've had to discontinue some of my favourite pants because they look absolutely horrid on me. I never paid this much attention, thinking it was due to the fabric stretching or slight weight fluctuations. But it is only now that I seem to realize that my pants won't stretch to the point of falling off on their own. Therefore, I must be shrinking.

Weight is not an issue with me. It used to be, oh how it used to be. But that is a past I worked to put behind me--and behind me it can remain, watching my fat ass grow with reckless abandon should I let it. I never expected to actually be losing weight though. First my black pinstripe pants, those have been too big for about 6 monthes. My favourite jeans too; they have stretch in them so they do stretch on their own if I don't wash them frequently, and even fresh out of the dryer the waistband is too big and the rest of the jeans quickly follow suit. Now it is my green cargo pants. Shall I be left with any comfortable pants?

Losing these pants is not a horribly bad thing, many of my clothing articles are on their last leg as I stopped really updating my wardrobe after highschool. Lucky for me pants I've had stored from that long ago era (about 3 years, really) are slowly resurfacing. I knew there was a reason I saved them, despite the impossibility of closing them normally. Now I can almost fit into my jeans from my sophomore year, which are thankfully in good condition. Really lucky for me that I work with two amazing clothing designers and am privvy to their back stock and new designs!

I know the only reason I didn't realize I was losing weight is because I had no full-length mirror to over-analyze myself in. So I guess it is a good thing. I still don't plan on buying a mirror, or getting back my old one. I've seemed to do well enough getting dressed without one, and obviously a mirror like that is not an important factor in my life. Better I think to leave off at the bathroom cabinet mirror and be surprised next time I go shopping. If I got a long mirror now, it could lead to an obsession with my body's loss of weight, and we don't need that, now, do we? (Been there, done that, used to have the trendy XS Gap tees to prove it.) Mainly, I'm excited that I feel healthy and am pleasantly surprised to notice more refined lines to my body.

It is a rare woman who is truly happy with her own body. And while I'm not there yet, I like what I (don't) see in the mirror.