Just My Luck

Today was going to be my first day back at my sexy job. But I think I must've jinxed myself last night when I turned to Makal (he's still Makal, for now) and said, "I think my period's going to start soon, my boobs hurt." Because when I got up this morning to go pee, guess what? Period. Wonderful.

I've really never been a fan of menstruation. Even the word sounds gross. I know, it's a natural process; there's even all sorts of theories that because of H. sapien's evolution into upright-walking, gestating creatures, developing menstrual cycles are what clued man in to the concept of time as well as planetary influences. Crazy huh? But now we know about time, damnit, and the planets too, so why do I have to keep bleeding?!

Towards the end of high school, I was so fed up with my period (tame thing that it was) and so much more interested in constant sex that I denied easily forgettable birth control pills and went the Depo Provera route instead. I don't know that there's enough research out there saying it is indeed as horrible for you body as so many people claim; I was always pretty happy and healthy while using it for those four years. And the best side effect of them all was that my periods slowed to a halt--that's three years of wearing thongs and having sex anytime (if your boyfriend cares about that sort of thing). Of course, being off it now, my period's back.

There's something about menstruation that makes me feel so fertile and all. My body's telling me that I'm able to reproduce, trying to clue me into when's a good time to do so, and I appreciate that. But then there's the side of me that enjoys discussing how delicious animal muscle and aborted chicken embryos are. That side says, "Yes, your organ is sloughing and bleeding to tell you that you are capable of having nine months of frequent urination, constipation, and a sore back, all leading up to several hours of vaginal tearing and the seperation of the two halves of your pelvic bone." Yes, now I want to reproduce! (Never mind the decades of parenthood after that...)

As unappealing as birth sounds to me at these times, I can never justify planning a pregnancy that will end in cesarean. It doesn't seem right to me. I mean, it's one thing to be in the midst of labor and have something potentially threatening to either the mom or the baby that would call for an emergency cesarean. But it's something else to be pregnant and sit down with your doctor to plan the time and date you will come in to have an operation to birth your child. I've known people who were born this way, and something about them was always lost... or searching... just not fully understanding of who they were.

It's logic: if man created time based on women's cycles, which are influenced by the moon, thus we are surely influenced by other celestial bodies in a concept known as astrology. And the time and day you were born has such a huge influence in astrology that if you're forced to come out on a certain day that you weren't planning on, that can't be good in the long run. My due date was freakin' Valentine's Day, but I waited two whole weeks before I wanted to be born--how fucked up would I have been if my mom had said, "Valentine's Day? That sounds good; write me in at 3p.m." Fucked up apart from the obvious lifetime of pink and lace. /shudder

Anyway, I'm on my period. Which is a bummer, because I have no idea what the network's policy is on rag shows. The concept always makes me a little squeemish, but there's guys out there who love it, so who's to say I won't still make a buck or two? Hell, Trixie has a whole site based on the concept! It's just... /sigh, now I'm all uncomfortable and tense feeling; not the way anyone should feel the first day back on the job. Makes me wish I had white underwear. ;)