One More for the Road... Please?

I definitely have issues staying on task. It's just not in my nature. I'm very excellent at starting a project, or brainstorming a great idea, but half of these things never come to fruition in reality. This creates many issues in my life. This is not good for me; issues = stress. Stress for me makes it harder to orgasm. The higher difficulty rating means that I have to work harder at it. An orgasm requiring more work means that I have to push my body further to obtain the orgasm. Pushing my body further usually requires more extreme masturbation than would occur in my daily routine. Today, that meant shoving my big purple vibrator up my ass.

Not that I didn't like it. Boy did I not not like it! I liked it so much I had a few more orgasms with it cuz heck, my ass was already stretched out so I might as well make the most of the opportunity! Did I have other things I needed to be doing? Yes. These other things have a lot more of a need to be completed than did my orgasm. But more and more as of late, orgasms have come before responsibility. This is not a track I like. Well, I mean, I like the masturbation, and the resulting orgasms (no complaints there!), but I really do not like the fact that I am shrugging off responsibilities in the rest of my life. I have dishes to wash, jewelry to make, people to call. But here I am, shut up in my room with dildos and net porn and a million cares in the world.

I rationalize it. This time next week I'm going to be working a full-time job in a new retail store. I can do this stuff later when everyone's home and take full advantage of my privacy now. The world will not end if I have one more orgasm.

But nonetheless a voice lurks in the back of my head, telling me that this is not good. One cannot always trade carnal pleasures for real life. The world will not end if I do not have one more orgasm.

Could I be addicted, or becoming addicted? There is a possibility that I am using orgasms to escape from the stress in my life, to a compulsive degree. There is not always an urgent need stemming from stimuli, and so one could say that I am not always horny when I masturbate. It is the release I seek, although I do have fun getting there. But there's that voice, telling me that when I get to the point of shoving the big purple vibe up my ass, I've gone a little too far.

And so I shall content myself to read this Is Masturbation Addictive? article. After I eat something and empty/fill the dishwasher. I am tempted to masturbate again, to say "Fuck that, I'm not addicted! I just like this feeling." I am tempted to put away my toys in an inconvenient location so that it won't be so easy to bring them out; to toss the 6 or so batteries on my desk that are "almost dead, but not quite and so still useful". there is that voice, saying that I need to grow up and stop playing with myself.

In the meantime, here's a nice link: Lotza Free Pics. Free pictures that link to more pictures, and even a handful of free video. Not that you're addicted or anything...