Well That Settles It

So I guess I'm not going to be able to do my project tonight. Because I need help with it if it is not to take up all my time, plus it involves some work that muscle would come in handy for (and I have very little). So it will have to wait for another day; hopefully when that day comes I will still have the mental, let alone physical, energy to follow through.

As I mentioned, sometimes I feel like my life revolves a little too closely around Housemate #1. And this is one of those nights, because I seem to think that my body tells me that I really do need some help with this project, although I wish I could do it alone. It is for my own benefit after all, one would think I could do it on my own.

Housemate #1 came home extremely angry and frustrated. Not with me directly, but life in general and all its lovely subcategories. Unfortunately for me I am a subcategory and so I do receive some of the negativity. Such is life living with other people. But it sucks ass when I rely on them. On the upside, his being frustrated gives me ample excuse to be alone upstairs while he goes on rampages in GTA: San Andreas with the volume turned up too loud. The idea of moving into a studio apartment--alone with myself--becomes more appealing every day like this.

I think I'm going to revise my New Year Resolutions. I like the ones I listed, but as I've taken the time since to really see what's going on around here, I feel there are other things that would be a much better waste of time. Smaller things that will not require as much dedication but with me, every inch gets me closer to a mile. And I know for sure that I cannot run a mile before I fall over gasping for air. I hope this year works out for me. Although I can't say that I'm off to a promising start, I feel I am accomplishing something by at least acknowledging my wants and needs.

I want to have a relationship with Housemate #1 (and #2 as well). But anymore, I question whether that relationship is really best served with sex. I like the sex, I need to have sex, but there are other people in the world with whom I would like to have sex with (ones who won't come home from work every day angry at the world) and I'd say that qualifies as a definite want/need for my 2005 to be successful.