What a Day, What a Man

Life is evolving to become something good and enjoyable and ever-changing in a way that I expect. I am very thankful for this.

I forgot there was a store meeting this morning, which I felt dumb about. But there was no time to be wasted; the owner briefed me on the meeting's topics and gave me a vocal list of things to be accomplished for the morning. I cleaned, arranged, and assembled things with what can only be innate skill and egotistical fourish. I held her hand (metaphorically) throughout the day as it was so busy. Luckily her out-of-store best friend was there throughout the day to help out. This came in very handy, as the friend knew the layout of the owner's house better than the sugar daddy boyfriend, a plus when the owner needed "that box behind the recycle on the other counter" sort of things. She was stressed but we kept it mainly at bay.

The day was busy because we were installing the first artist for the first gallery rotation period. 30-odd painting of acrylics on cupboard doors and watercolors on loose paper, as well as about 25 painted tiles. Now I can add art gallery experience to my resume.

My day was really good. I saw good friends and talked with them about exciting stuff in animated voices with expressive motions and gestures. I looked way cute (ponytail, fuschia long-sleeve tee with "Paris" in gold on the front, and of course, pleated black mini and vinyl knee-high boots; very fashionista) and even drank wine. I don't drink wine, I made it a point to not really "drink" til I've actually turned 21. But I didn't drink even a full glass, am not at all buzzed, and fuck, I turn 21 in a month so whatever. So yeah, good day at work.

Then I get home. The apartment is dark, as I knew Housemate #1 was out and Housemate #2 is avoiding us (#1 told him off about his being a lazy moocher). Not only that, but the back door was open. ?!?! That is so not a cool thing for a girl to come home to. But it wasn't open a lot, more like it had been pulled shut from the outside but never "clicked" shut and the wind blew it open. I'm surprised the dog didn't run away. Well, and slightly dissapointed that he didn't. But I'm sadistic like that. And I just got a phone call from Housemate #1 saying that he's not coming home at all, which royally sucks because he knew I had brought home new movies to watch (Without a Paddle and Garden State). So what have I done? Sit here, read blogs, blog. Soon I shall take a shower. If Housemate #1 had come home I would've traded a backrub for a blowjob (fair deal, no?!). Instead I'll have to settle for the harshest setting of the showerhead and for not having any lingering aftertaste. Not that it's the same, but that's why it's called "settling". Before that I'll eat leftover lasagna and have some green tea to calm me. Oh, do I sound stressed? I'm not stressed, just frustrated.

Knowing that there is someone out there who really appreciates me and all the work I put into things, and even knows what a self-centered procrastinatory bitch I can be, and still wants to be with me? That's "unfortunate". But "frustrating" is when a person like that not only exists, but wants to tie me to his bed, spank me with his luscious slut paddle and do all other manner of unseemly things to me, then fuck me silly--that He exists and that I can't have Him here when I need Him is frustrating. It pisses me off royally. I know so much angst in my life would be dissapated if only He were more often around to remind me of His control and power; that would make me feel so much better. But He can't always be here, and I'm more understanding of the circumstances of our relationship than I am about Housemate #1 not feeling like a short walk in the rain and cancelling plans at the last minute, leaving me alone. And so I am forced into a tension I cannot fix, a level of anticipation that has a while before it's met.

Damn how easy it can be to turn my mood sour. Must be nearing that ubiquitous ovulatory time. Joy. Even more reason to have a strong Man around to put me in my place. I need better access to that Man.

I want popcorn too.

Damnit, I don't think we have popcorn. Fuck.