Good Blood Bad Blood

I woke up this morning with a swollen eye. I knew it was coming, I'd seen the telltale red bump last night and could feel the heat and swelling beginning to set in. I didn't think my eye would swell this badly though. The entire area is numb, but at least I still have enough muscle control to open and close my eyelid. The spider bite is just above my eyelid on my left eye, towards the outer edge. The poison travelled down the nerves and muscles in my face and seems to have stopped just before my earlobe, making it feel like my jaw is swollen and sore too. I hate spiders. Sure, they're cool looking and do neat stuff, but holy fucking damn do they love me. Why spiders, why must you love me so? My blood must be extra sweet to them, and they go forth and tell their little crawly spider friends where to find the girl with the sweet blood. Perhaps I'm secreting some sort of "good blood" pheromone that draws them to me in some twisted Pied Piper march of eight legs.

Ironically, I'm not affected by flea or mosquito bites. I don't itch, swell, or anything typical of a little bug bite. Only spiders. I think it's because I hate anything that can crawl on a ceiling — seriously, that's just not natural. I can tough out the creepiest, most visually disturbing scary movies and episodes of X Files, but heaven help me if there's some creature crawling on a ceiling. Bug, zombie, alien, poltergeist; if it's on a ceiling it's wrong. Damn spiders. Well, at least I'm not worried. I've been bit by enough spiders, harmless and deadly, to know when to worry; I'll let you know if I lose my eyesight.

P.S. The post title is a tongue twister. Go ahead, try and say it three times fast.